Twister
by Gaara's Desert Rose-Hasame
Summary: [One shot]A DEADLY GAME OF TWISTER! EVERYONE IS COMEPLETELY OOC! GOT IT! and check the second chapter, for a SNEAK PREVIEW OF A PREQUEL! HAHAHA!
1. Chapter 1

This is a story that...was...written in teh middle of da night...and I was very hungry...i dont know what being hungry has to do with the story, but its just so you know why I wrote this and what my conditions were. lol. eh heh...cough...cricket..FINE! I have nothing to say...Read...now...review after...do not review, and I will strangle you with Envy's long hair.

Envy: YOU LEAVE MY HAIR ALONE!

Me: omg! ENVY! glomps

Envy: GET IT OFF ME! waves arm chibi-ishly

mybreaklinethatimtoolazytodotherealthing

"OMFG! LETS PLAY TWISTER!" shouted Ed, right in the middle of a fight with Envy, Lust and Greed with Roy and Al.

"...what?" demanded Envy, as he had just secured Ed in a headlock, suffocating the short blonde.

"Twister. You know, the game were you gotta touch a circle with a certain colour with your arms or legs." he explained, while trying to breathe.

"OH YAY! LETS PLAY THAT!" squealed Roy, with everyone staring at him.

"What? I like twister." he defended himself, and pulled out his little doll in the shape of Riza and huggled it.

Everyone stared.

"Ooook..." Lust broke the silence. she searched through the closet (i dont know where the fight was taken place...) and pulled out the spinner and the mat.

"Got 'em!" she grinned. Laying out the mat covered with dots, she handed Greed the spinner.

"hey, why me?" he asked, staring at the carboard with an arrow stuck on it.

"Because you would want to take up allllll the dots cuz ur greedy and we wouldn't get to play. Plus, Im a girl." she flaunted and flipped her long hair, as if being a girl explained everything.

"Fine." Greed flicked the arrow.

"Green left foot." he called. Everyone placed their left foot on a green circle.

He spun it again.

"Blue right hand"

They all placed their right hands on the blue dots on the other side of the mat. Except Ed, who couldn't reach out enough to touch the dot and keep his foot on the green dot.

"SHIT!" he swore loudly.

Envy laughed at him and pointed meanly.

"Sucker!" roy smirked and touched the dot easily.

Edward scowled deeply, then grinned. He unclicked his arm and reached out, touching the dot.

"hey! No fair! Can he do that!" Whined Envy, pouting.

"Nothin' in the rules says he can't" mumbled Greed, looking on the back of the box at the rules.

"Mother fuckers..." Swore Envy, already not liking the game.

"Shut up and let me spin!"

Greed flicked the little black arrow and watched it land.

"Red right foot"

Al this time had a little bit of touble. His bulky body wouldn't allow him to bring his knee up to his chest and literally do the splits in order to touch the damn red dot. He swayed and fell sideways, almost crushing Roy.

"HA! YOU'RE OUT!" Laughed Envy mercilessly.

Al banged his head on the floor, then got up, and sat on a chair to watch.

"So, four remaining. Ok, yellow left hand" ordered Greed, watching what would happen next.

Now, this left Ed in a pickle. He had his right arm disconnected, touching the red dot, and his other arm was holding his right one. He scowled and got an idea. Putting the little stub thingy in his mouth, he let go of his arm and reached out to touch the yellow dot.

"Mwauah Feruby grulbby" he said inaudibly, due to his arm.(translation: Man, having automail is great)

"What was that pipsqueak? you wanted a glass of milk?" Envy sneered, enjoying watching Ed try to freak out on him, but that would mean he would have to let go of his arm, and he would lose.

Lust had to reach over Roy to place her hand on the yellow circle. Her large..you-know-whats...were directly over his face. She didn't notice what Roy was looking at so interestedly. Of course, his Riza doll had fallen out of his pocket a while ago.

"Blue right foot!" ordered Greed, enjoying the little show.

Everyone was about to move, when Winry entered the room. (where is this room of which I speak of?...Hell like I know)

"hey what-..whats going on? HEY IS THAT TWISTER! I AM SO PLAYING!" she squealed and plopped on the mat.

Everyone stared at her for a second, then returned to the game.

"So, blue right foot?" she asked, then put her bare foot on the blue circle.

The game continued for quite sometime, and no one had gotten out yet.

Eventually, the whole scene looked something like this. Lust over Roy, Envy sort of tangled up with his own hair and Winry beneath Ed.

Also, Lust realised what Roy was so engulfed in. Smiling sneakily, she pretended to slip on the mat.

"Woops!" she said, and fell foward, Roy's face buried deeply in her...coughboobscough.

"Uh oh, looks like I'm out" She said cutely, shrugging her shoulders, causing the male to get his face squished even more between her chest.

Roy was swooning.

She got up, allowing Roy to get some air, and stepped over him and sat down beside Al on a stool.

Roy was in a stupor, but soon regain some sanity.

"Yellow Right...knee!" said Greed.

"hey! Knee isnt a limb!" called Ed angrily over his shoulder. He had long reconnected his arm painfully.

"Well I say so! NOW DO IT, YOU MAMA'S BOY!" roared Greed, spit flying all on Ed's face.

"Ew."

Ed placed his right knee on the yellow circle, which was right near Winry's hip.

'how interesting.' thought Greed, and smiled maniacally.

"You sick bastard." grumbled Envy.

"Green left ELBOW!"

"Your making this stuff up!" yelled Ed.

"Nothing in the rules says im not allowed to make up the body parts..." mumbled Greed, mocking thoughtfulness.

Roy placed his elbow on the correct colour and ended up right near Envy's ass.

"This is gross."

"Yeah well, I dont like it either. Im gonna change this." Envy put his leg up to his chest and kicked Roy in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.

"Oof!" he fell sideways, clutching his stomach.

"Well, you were in the way." Envy sneered.

"That's cheating!" gasped Roy.

"Nothing in the rules says you can't kick the shit out of someone..." said Greed, uninterestedly.

"Your a dumbass. I don't think you can even read." growled Roy and sat on the floor.

"So, that leaves Winry, Envy and Ed." listed Greed, flicking the spinner again.

"I don't wanna play anymore...this is fucking boring...DAMN IT GREED! SPICE IT UP A BIT!" yelled Envy, getting impatient.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that, eh!" retorted the sin, waving the square cardboard spinner around in the air.

"I dunno, be creative! And when I mean creative, I mean not sickly or dirty minded."

"Oh yeah, narrow it down to the most impossible ideas Envy!" growled Greed, spinning the spinner...well, what else are you supposed to do with a spinner?

"Well, I could hit you with it." suggested Envy, talking to the narrator ( me)

I suggest you shouldnt do that, Envy, because I can make you or someone else do something nasty to you.

Envy gasped "You wouldn't dare..."

Yes I would.

"You little..." Envy was cut off by Greed calling out the next colour and position, with Winry's foot in his face.

"Oops, sorry." she automatically apologized, then realising what she said and who she said it to, she mentally head/desk

Greed was thoroughly enjoying this. It was way better than Hentai by far!

"You have perverted thoughts, you know that?" Envy said to the narrator again.

You shut up, act like I'm not here! That's what you supposed to do idiot!

Anyway, Ed and Winry were tangled up so well and so badly (i know that doesnt make sense), it looked nasty.

And Envy was stuck on the other side of the mat, getting bored.

"Red, nose." Greed said boredly.

Now...Winry's head is on the nearest red circle. Which was directly beneath Ed. In order to reach it, he would have to...

"Greed! YOU SICK...sick...sick..uh.." he had nothing.

"Follow the instructions, or lose bean boy."

Ed was restraining himself from attacking Greed and beating him to a bloody pulp.

"Uh, Win, can u move your head to the left a bit?" he asked, blushing profusly.

"Er, yeah, I'll try." she attempted, but by Greed's orders, Ed had to put his left hand on the blue dot beside her head, so she had no room.

She smiled apologetically.

'now what!' thought Ed exhasperatly.

He frowned.

"Fine." he stuck his nose on Winry's forehead.

Everyone stared. Greed gloomed on the inside.

'awwww, that was gonna be good..crap...' he thought.

"Wait...what if I sneeze?" he asked Greed, who wasn't paying attention to him and had already flicked the arrow.

"Yellow..heh...BELLY BUTTON!" he squealed like a school girl.

"wha-?" Envy just stared at Greed dumbly.

Envy looked like he was in mid-push up.

"Weird..."

Now, you just imagine what Ed and Winry look like now. Go on, let your imagination fly...or I can just tell you what they look like.

The poor teens are being molested by a game of Twister.

"GREEED!" they both yelled at the top of their lungs at the snickering sin standing near them. Suddenly, he pulled out a Polaroid and snapped a picture of them.

"YES!" he squealed again, waving the picture around.

Everyone was getting tired of Greed's porno dream world and tried to take the picture from him.

"Ah ah ah! I've got them HOSTAGE! they're still in the game, and who ever wins, gets this picture!" he said, his voice ringing in the now silent room.

Of course, they all wanted it. All had different reasons..actually, both Ed and Winry's were the same. To tear it up, get Den to eat it, wait for him to coughdisposecough of it, then make Greed eat it.

Lovely.

So, they continued the game. Envy was getting tired of this.

When Greed called out "Green right foot" he put his left hand on the red circle.

"ENVY! YOUR OUT!" cried Greed, prancing around.

"SCREW THIS GAME! IT'S STUPID!" he pouted and marched out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Then he opened the door again, pulled up a chair and sat down quietly.

Everyone stared. He ignored them.

"Alright...Blue right hand." Greed didn't look up from the spinner, and this was a truthful statement that he did not realise where the blue dot was.

In order for Ed to touch the blue circle, which was right beneath Winry's chest, he had to...ahem...totally grab her breast.

"You know what? I quit." Edward said, getting up from the mat and stalking to the door.

"Fine, but you lose the piiictuure!" taunted Greed, waving it around. Ed froze. He had forgotten about that.

"Winry gets it." Greed announced and Winry jumped to her feet. She squealed when she grabbed the picture and ran out the room, still shrieking like a school girl down the hall and ran into her bedroom.

"o.O..." everyone said...well, looked like...

"Will you make up your MIND?" Envy roared at the Narrator.

I did. I just don't know how to put it in a story! It's easier when your in a chat room!

"Well, YOUR NOT!" he screamed, pulling at his hair.

Oh, go kill someone.

"Can I kill you?" he asked sweetly, grinning maniacally.

No, I'm only a voice.

"Damn..."

So, everyone had finished the dreadful game of Twister, and it was now Edward's least favourite game on the planet, besides Monopoly, which is another story.

thebreakthebreakthebreakSHUTMEUP!

Ok, hope u all enjoyed this lil story. heh heh..kinda weird. So, yeah, REVIEW!


	2. Dun dun duuun MONOPOLY

heh heh. HELLO EVERYONE! I was bored one Sunday day (eh?) and i was reading through the reviews I got on Twister. I spotted one that caught my interest. Leaning forward in my chair and adjusting my reading glasses (yes i have reading glasses. u laugh at me, you die) and squinted at the screen, as I was staring point blank at it for four hours straight. The computer is my only friend. Joking, anyway, I read it and thought 'Well, shes got a good point. I really should explain the Monopoly story...Hmmm.' My brother was sitting beside me, trying to anny the hell out of me by his unwavering stare, but he said 'Dude, a swear a lightbulb just turned on over your head.' After swatting him over the head, I realised I had thought up a very funny, crack filled story for Monopoly! SO, why not make a story BEFORE the Twister game, with the famous Monopoly board game, yeah?

Well,The Earth Alchemist (anonymous reviewer) youve gotten your request. Here is the placement of Monopoly, a prequel to Twister! This might take a little time, as i must consult my crazy, hyper friends for ideas and I must eat Pixie Stix 24/7 in order to make it funny. or i just read a stupid story. Alright, LATER! EXPECT MONOPOLY! DATTEBAYO!

The Sixth Kazekage of Sunagakure, Sabaku no Hasame 


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